So, last night at 2100, I started my "sleep study" to see what I do, how I sleep and if I can roll over and fetch a bone while asleep. For those who don't know the answer to the last one, apparently I can but I won't know for five weeks. I know this: wires are made for TV's and radios, not for human beings. Tape, glue and IR lights are for halloween decorations, not for me. So, into the room at 2100, taped and glued in all accessible places, I said accessible, wires trailing down each leg, out each arm, across my chest, my chin in three places, my eyes, back, side and front of my head, top of my cranium, finger wire with ET light on left pointing finger. I noted an infra-red thingy in the upper right of my room and a omnidome thing in the left front. The TV screen, I'm sure, glowed purposely all night. There were some alien red and green lights here and there, they said fire alarms, etc. I didn't believe any of it. When they asked me to change into my night clothes, did those things watch me?

Anyway, lights out. Now, Kenneth, sleep. Oh, sure. Sleep in a strange room with the atmosphere of an old hotel on Highway 66, two pillows made in China, and I'm supposed to sleep? Right. Did you ever turn over on your side and wonder if the octopus tied to your body would strangle you until your eyes popped out? Well, I did wonder just that. I did okay but thought I had parachuted into some high tension wires. "Try to sleep on your back" Hey, Barb, do I sleep on my back? Not on your life. But, on my back I did and the Jon said later I spent most of my time on my back. Well, what the XXll do you want me to do, Hey, I am Gulligan and you're the little guys. I'm tied to the bed and I can't do much more than wiggle my toes. Somehow, I managed to sleep on my back, then right, then left...the whole time realizing that every cough, snort, throat clearing, finger movement, scratch, etc...was be in recorded in HD and Surround Sound, for future residents at some Doctor's gathering in Orlando at the Annual Sleep Apnea Conference. I can see an audience of 500 (half of them asleep themselves) laughing at me as the presenter comments on my reaching for my nose with my index finger......Oh well, I always wanted to be in movies. At 0100 Jon comes in and says, Do you want to go to the bathroom? Well, of course, I told you I get up every night to do just that. So, I did. Have you ever tried to walk with 3000 feet of clothesline tied to your body? Back to bed and now the "icing on the cake" or in their terms, the mask on the nose test. It is now 0100 and I have to go to 0600. More in next blog. :)