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Feb 4, 2007 Post By: Dave

20 Below....literally!!

It's so cold here that they have cancelled school tomorrow because bare skin will literally freeze in a matter of minutes! We've been inside with the heat cranked all day but I just can't get warm... oh, how I dream of San Diego.... I need to go curl up with my heating pad and blanket... I keep thinking that I will never feel warm again!

Things here are mostly good... Danica came down with a bad cold and cough last night so I decided to keep her home from church. We were all up with her most of the night because she couldn't sleep. Tom had to go to ward council early so I arranged for the neighbor to come pick up Hayden and he threw the biggest tantrum in the world and I could not unlatch him from my legs to get him in the car. He insists that church is boring and he doesn't want to go. This has been going on since the first of the year. I think his teacher is okay, he's very soft spoken and maybe they don't play games but I think Hayden is just used to a super exciting electronic world and gets bored at church and doesn't like to sit quietly and such. Anyway, it's becoming a big problem and today he was so bad I literally couldn't get him buckled in their car and had to let him stay home. Every other week we just force him to come with us and sometimes he cries all the way to church but he gets over it. If I had been going I would have simply forced him to go but I knew Tom would be busy with Stake meetings during church and couldn't deal with him if he continued to fight it. I sat him down and tried to talk to him about why we go to church, to learn about Jesus and feel the spirit and stuff, but he just kept crying and crying and saying it's not fun. Obviously I don't want him to hate church, and most of the time once he gets to class he is fine and if he's acting up and I threaten to take him out he gets upset at the idea of having to leave. (I teach sunbeams now so I am nearby during sharing time). Anyway, have any of you dealt with this? What can I do to help change his attitude? We read the Friend every day at lunch and he loves the stories and he's learning the songs. He just has a bad attitude! How can I change it? Honstely it reminds me of Tom's attitude on life which is "why would I do it if it's not fun to me?" Oh.... help?

Well, I'm exhausted and not feeling well today so I think I"m off to bed...it will probably be just in time for Danica to wake up coughing.... I hope the rest of you are well! Hopefully we'll warm up soon!!!



  1. Tracy,

    Being someone that is not a big fan of church meetings, I had to find a reason to motivate me. Of course, this took all of 36 years to realize:) A talk at Mom and Dad's ward really enlightened me. The speaker referenced one of the Tewlve's talks: He said we do not go to Church for us, we go to worship our Heavnely Father....it does not matter if we have a good time, what matters is that we go and show our love for God. Anyway, I do not know if that is good advice for a young child. But, if you could somehow focus his attendance on showing his love for Heavenly Father maybe it will work. I think it is better than trying to have Church fun compete with XBOX fun. He could be going to show how grateful he is to live in a home with all the electronic gizmos he loves! Tough one, that's all I've got.

    Mike

  1. Thanks Mike, that really gives me some good ideas to think about. I realize it may take more than a week to solve this but hopefully not 36 years! I'll let you know how it goes!

    Tracey

  1. Tracey,
    First, 5 x 7 is the best size for pictures. Sorry about not responding to your e-mail..I kept intending to look and check and then forgetting!

    On church attendance, Mike's answer is probably the most spiritual way to approach it and I'm glad to see he has come to that point.

    Mine is much more practical and that is to make the alternatives less fun...With my later children I learned that if I took them out of church they would have to sit on my lap and do NOTHING. In church, they had books to look at and something going on. As I was growing up, if I didn't want to go to church, I did nothing interesting at home...or was not able to do anything else that day. That made church a better alternative than staying away. For Hayden, I am sure he may complain but will always go when you go and at some point he will get teachers that will be more interesting to him. But when you are not there due to illness etc and he wants to stay home with you, make it pretty dull!! The point is to make going to church a more attractive choice than any alternative...then eventually as they mature they will understand Mike's point. He may begin to be able to understand that the point isn't to be entertained!!!

    Other ideas? It always is funny to respond in this arena since my children may have their own ideas about the effectiveness of my mothering!!!

    Love,

    Barb

  1. I like Barb's approach - that way he has a choice - you let him make the choice - but staying home is not one of those choices. Sometimes we can still trick our kids into thinking they are in charge by giving them options - but really, both options are what we want. Consistency and follow-through are also vital - something we are still perfecting.
    Anyway - you are an awesome mom - he is lucky to have you and there's no doubt you'll lick this thing.
    Adina

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